i want to exit this tomb of a room
and walk where the sheep of light
graze on the high meadow of the mountain
a lamp,  a candle, a star here and there
remind me of an old desire
that lurks in the deep well of my heart
a reflection
refusing to vanish
the wind's hooves gallop behind me
faster and more desperate than time
like a ray of light
on a layer of cooled volcanic rock
i remember love

tell me how to kick the memory
of passion's hunger like a stone
into tomorrow's empty stomach
how to pile up all the days
of soured milk
into a crumbling monument
or a tombstone
teach me how to arrange
my poems like ants, transporting food
to eternity--old grains of rice
nourishing the dried gully
of the soul

i miss the ideals of yesterday
that vista of dark waves
looming like crestfallen, resentful years
don't say that tragic idealism is a waterfowl
flying toward the edge of the ages
yet unable to find a tree
on which to perch
allow me to remember love
and the scent of a man
his hair a swath of night
in the starlight;
allow me to remember
a dream in my arms

let me fall down
outside tomorrow's door
i don't want to enter
that zone of barrenness
that arch of despair
i don't want to enter
even if my short-lived dream
is only a grey dove
taking off in the lilac dusk of time
like a pair of startled eyes
only you
may be able to follow
the twists and turns of my soul