even the knot of my shadow
is tied in a knot
in my life story :
a wildwood
abundant with beasts
where the tale is told backwards
starting with the day
you left;
a gross analepsis
i didn't want to predict.

but wait.  let's start
at the start : a baby was born
to a woman who had
a heart of granite
and a plate-glass mind.
along the horizon there was
a sparrow-light, weak
and molting.
enter : her half-baked
miracle.

the angels snickered.
the fortune teller wept.
flashback to the future :
the stars crossed their eyes
and sealed the fate of lovers
who were never destined to meet
and only one of whom was in love.

what did i hide under my clothes
except nakedness?
what did you hide in your heart
except mockery?

i used to read the dictionary
out loud until i could pronounce
certain words perfectly : joy, hope
talk, freedom, trust..
my thoughts, however, were subversive
and versed in obsolete concepts
such as love tasked to give, not get, forgiveness.

under the skin, you and i look so much alike
we could be related. your story starts
in the middle, but mine is tied up
in the thick ribbon of disaster
and starts at the end.
it took years to hear
with my deaf ear
the one thing i didn't want to know--

the story ended where you began