Joy
--------

Joy moved out last night
I pretended to be asleep
while she grabbed a few things
trying to be quiet, during my acting.

I laid there thinking
that I could fight to keep her
from leaving
but I was tired, and she knew so.

I don't know whose car it was outside
probably her best friend, Hope
waiting and scowling
up towards my window
while Joy rummaged
through the bathroom
as silent as a drunk mouse,
shit falling off shelves,
quick decisions of what
to pick up in her hurry.

Take it all, less for me
to throw out.

Joy is the kind to keep the key.
No leaving it beside my coffee cup
so that maybe it will cut me
or something in the morning.
We weren't that deep.

I tried. I had hopes.
But me and Joy just
couldn't overcome our differences.
And I know it seems
that it's always my fault.

It's not. But I'd take the lie
just to keep peace,
and perhaps Joy would
settle in, belong to me.
To us.

But, Joy is at the car.
I stare from my window
as Hope makes room
in the front seat.
Her little car chirps its tires,
it's just a little bird we've seen
trapped in a department store,
hiding its confusion
within its determination.

My girlfriend wakes up,
asks about the commotion.
I head back to bed, saying
it's just the neighbor's dog,
nothing to worry about.

But she always has.

MC19